Abnormalia 5/Abnormalia 5.adf/Articles/47.pak/47.pak

Text File | 1994-10-24 | 9KB | 171 lines

TITLE:INTRODUCTION TO THE MAGS MULTI REVIEW - CHRONICLE OF AN ABORT
PALETTE:0223 088a 0978 09bc

BEWARE:
This article and all the ones of this section, are expressively dedicated to mag
editors.  If you aren't an editor of any scene mag (that's unlikely, I know, but
it  might always happen), you are not supposed to read what follows.
Simply because it's going to be rather boring.
Continue at your peril.  Beware of dogs.


                       THE SCENARIUM QUICK MAGS ROUND-UP
                                  Introduction

                                    By Macno


Who reads reviews of diskmags in diskmags?
As surely a MEDIASCENE opinion pool would reveal and ROM conferm: NOBODY.
Nobody except, obviously, the editors of the mags reviewed.

Being  a  deeply  masochistic and hypocrite publication, Scenarium can dare with
something more than the usual short-mag-reviews-that-only-editors-read.

This  issue  of  Scenarium can in fact boast a disturbingly massive and complete
set of long-mag-multi-reviews-that-only editors-read.

The  idea  was  to  make  a  full  review  of  the latest issues of ALL the most
important  scene  mags,  with  also the contribution and the opinions of various
writers  and  editors.  Everything intended to be entertaining.

Too  late  I  realized that this idea was far from being original and the result
not always funny.

After  few  of  these  time  taking  reviews,  I  got  bored  and I decided that
Abnormalia  5  was already too fat.  It was too late, of course, I already asked
to various writers and editors to write their own comments about the scene mags.
"It  would  be  criminal  to  leave  unpublished  a  similar  bunch  of external
contributions", I thought wittily, so I decided to use everything, also comments
for  mags  too  old  to be reviewed.  This is not ROM, after all, where articles
older than 2 weeks are trashcanned.

In  other  words  you  are  going  to  be  compelled to read an aborted complete
round-up  of  all  the  most  known mags around with special comments of some of
their same editors.

After  all  it  can  be  interesting for Wolfman, for example, to read what Lord
Helmet thinks about Upstream, or for Colorbird to take note of what Zinkfloid (I
can't call him Uyanik, it's over me) thinks of Propaganda now.

Yes,  I  know,  the  rest  of the world won't care a carrot, but the rest of the
world won't write the reviews of Abnormalia 5.

Here  it  is, in fact, this section is written expressively for mag editors, who
incidentally  are  often  mags reviewers.  It's intended to be their paradise on
scene,  where they can finally discover what the other editors think about them,
how  many  So-What?  articles they have scored, what's the spandimerda degree of
their mag, what is scenologically relevant about their work and so on.

What can you ask more, my dear editor?
Here  it  is  a  full  Scenarium section for your exclusive pleasure, if you are
lucky you can read about your mag:

- A general introduction-review.  The classical critic that can tell everything
  or nothing at all.  Written by me, Macno.
- The So-What?  articles incidence of your latest issue.  All your So-What?
  attempts seeked and underlined.  Nothing can escape the So-What?  hungry
  hunter (Always me, Macno)
- The Spandimerda power and future of your child.  Read what is spandimerda in
  your mag and what has still to be improved in order to conquer an award.
  Research and comment obviously made by your spandimerda Marcio.
- The Golden Pearls you have achieved.  I have looked for those Pearls that give
  a sense to life and a good laugh to readers.

- THE RIPPER's literary critic. The master of the critics explains the secrets
  of mags and writers.
- EL LOCO's Awakenings.  The new spandimerda star of the scene shouts his witty
  awakenings to the sleeping scene main editors.
- ZINKFLOID's direct thoughts about your mag.  The true opinion of Zinkfloid
  himself, not always objective, as he admits, but objectivity is boring.
- The Ultimate quotes from BLITTER.  Few sentences to define a mag, here's how
  Blitter of The Jungle has decided to partecipate to the multi-review.
- LORD HELMET's true opinions.  It's not common to read what Lord thinks about
  other mags.  I have written millions of articles for RAW to obtain some
  comments from him.  Grammar mistakes included.
- MOP's comment.  A sage, sober and competent comment by Mr.ROM himself, the
  next big priest of the scene.
- NIMROD's definition. Essential and direct comments from an indipendent
  journalist and scenologist.
- POSDNUOS' charts concerns. The editor of The Charts unveils the
  potentialities and the chart-power of each mag.

- Oepir Risti and 42 were lucky enough to have ROKDAZONE's very own additional
  comment.  He was too lazy to understand that he had to comment every mag.


Before leaving  you,  dear editor, to the estatic reading that will drive you to
nirvana   or  to  suicide,  alternatively,  let  me  publish  how  some  of  the
partecipants  have wanted to introduce and comment their reviewing work.  All in
Scenarium style, more or less.


THE RIPPER:
We  can't  deny  that  while  we are watching a good demo a stream of sensations
starts to pervade our body, different feelings come across our soul and a lot of
various  thoughts  pop  over  our minds.  The very same feelings we have when we
look,  better  for  the first time, at Michelangelo's Cappella Sistina or simply
while  we're  reading  Dante's  Commedia  or  when we're listening to a Wagner's
masterpiece.
What does it mean?
What  can  Leonardo  and Azatoth, Shakespeare and Romeo Knight, Goethe and Chaos
have in common?
ART, I would dare to say.
Trackmos, intros and all the productions of our "dimension" are nothing but ART,
where  as  art  we  mean  the  climax  of  the  human capability of creation and
production.  Pay attention, I do not mean everything from the scene is art, but,
a  lot  of work from Spaceballs, Sanity, Anarchy, just to say some names, can be
defined so.
And  even  some magazines, nowadays, have reached a level of quality which could
be defined, if not poetry, at least literature!
But, there's always a but.
Sometimes diskmagazines are obscure for the masses.
And  even  if  they  keep in the deepest part of their holy heart an even deeper
meaning,  zines  are  regarded as a difficult read, for the clever and wise, but
also   not   understandable  by  everyone,  use  of  mannerism,  verbal  tricks,
disgressions  and  highly  defined  sintax;  sometimes our magazines seem, and I
underline seem, not to make any attempt to be clear and comprehensible.
That's why in Abnormalia is born this corner.
Macno  already  noticed what I've written and he asked me to try to be a sort of
guide for all the people who would like to read "under, beneath, over the lines"
and understand what an editor in his magazine REALLY wants to tell us.
So here I am.
Who  was  so  unlucky  to read my previous critical texts maybe has noticed that
between  the  two  huge  landstones  of  our  way,  I  mean Croce's idealism and
Gramsci's  marxism  I  use the last one, as I think it's more actual and modern,
and suites better for our uses.
The  critical  way of Gramsci is based on deep studies of the text together with
massive researches on the historical background of the author, as history itself
is  nothing  but  the lives of ALL human beings, not just intellectuals or kings
and queens, human beings who decide to live together and build up a society.  So
even  art is not a holy "intuition", something of pure and undefined, but a real
production of history and men, men which must have a role in their society.
After  this  short  brief  I think we can start.  We'll try to be as clear as we
can, using a simple language and not too much technical words.  If our work will
be  useful for just one of our readers we'll be glad and we'll consider our duty
done,  but  if  noone  will take any advantage from our texts, well, then please
forgive us.


EL LOCO:
Since  I'm  a "Knight of the fighting Spandimerda table" (being the only one, as
well) these remarks are not spandimerda attacks, merely AWAKENINGS.
Just to make things clear, that is.
I  would  also  like  to  thank Macno for actually enjoying my awakenings in 42,
especially since he is among the very few who did.


ZINKFLOID:
As  a  lot  of  people hate me for all those nasty bytes I've ever written about
them  I  take  the chance right now to give you again the opportunity to hate me
and  to  slaughter me in an offensive way, take the chance and send diskbombs to
Ollie  and Chester as they are currently painting my new appartement and opening
all  sendings  adressed  to  me, so don't hesitate to send bombs as nobody takes
care about them and they don't need their fingers in future (they clean my shoes
with their tongues, hehehe).
My opinion about the current diskmag scene:  hate it.  To call it a mag scene is
a  farce to all people because most of them are not worth to be called mags, yes
I know...  you don't like Suicid but I don't like you...  that's the difference.